Since I can remember I have alway loved to dress myself & play dress up. My mom recalls myself being her “inside out and backwards child”, because I wanted to dress myself, and I didn’t want ANY help. I would often leave the house with shirts, shorts, pants, underwear, socks, coat, shoes, all on, but inside out, on the wrong foot, and/or on backwards. I don’t know where it all began, but I have always loved clothes. As I got older I was really drawn to figure skating and dance because of the beautiful outfits. I loved how the outfit accented the dance/ choreogaphy, and theme the show were trying to achieve. I never told anyone about my love for fashion… until now, in this blog post. I myself didn’t realize it till I was much older. I look back on my childhood and I see, and remember a girl who was obsessed with dress up.
As I grew older my tastes evolved, I went through the horrifying teenage fashion. But coming out on the other side it made me realize that even then I was becoming my own individual when it came to style. I liked how I could layer clothes, making multiple outfits out of a couple of key pieces, and make one outfit look totally different by adding accessories. As I entered into my twenties I took my fashion seriously but only as aesthetic, and I NEVER imagined going into it as a profession. I often has friends and family that loved to raid my closet for something fresh to wear. Once and a while I would receive the ‘mother of all’ compliments of a random stranger on my outfit, accessories or look as a whole. I really and seriously took it to heart but never thought i would good enough to be a influencer in any facet.
I obsessed over YouTube in the start of 2011 as I prepared myself for deployment. For a whole year I knew what I was going to be wearing but I obsessed over the fashion world, and stumbled upon the make up community. I was in love with everything the beauty community had to offer. I found many amazing inspirations, friends, ideas, advice, and my self-esteem in the beauty community. I would seriously ‘fan girl’ it when I would meet some of my favorite beauty-tubers, I looked up to them as inspiration but also as internet friends.
I will say it again, I never imaged myself as one of these girls. I don’t know why, I just didn’t believe in myself that way. I always saw it as a passion and something I love but I never saw myself as good enough to enter into the business of the beauty community. That’s where my problems was, I didn’t believe in myself, even in the slightest, and in return I never pressed anything I was passionate about. I always went with idea close friends, family, and boyfriends thought was best for me, but never what i wanted. Because of this I fell in to a deep depression. I was unable to motivate myself, in any aspect of life. I finally found something that motivated me, cannabis. So in 2017 decided to do something I’ve never done before, follow my own passion.
Cannabis has led me down an interesting path. One where I’ve really started to believe in myself, my dreams, and ideas. I decided to take a step backwards and follow of my passions of when I was a young girl. I am starting this session called ‘Ganja Glam’ dedicated to me playing dress up, and playing with makeup, hope you enjoy.