Missing You.

Today is like most days, spent missing him.

I can feel it deep down in my bones, as if the grief is craving his loss into me. It’s an ache that I will feel for the rest of this lifetime, and I won’t be granted any sort of relief. He left me in the most final of ways a person can leave another.

Today is like most days, painful and cumbersome. Everything is gray without his light in my life, and its painfully to plan any sort of future. I spend time in my time repaying old memories in my mind, and I try to find peace in a future that can never be. This is my way to self harm at it’s purest form, denying reality to live in a fantasy. It causes this burning urge that lies with my chest between my soul and my heart to radiate outward, scolding every inch of my body. It paralyzes me in grief, loss, and an utterly ache for his presences.

Today is like most days, I struggle at the grief of losing him. He is the only love story of mine be told. His soul spoke to mine, as if they had known each others for centuries. He was familiar in a way that can only be described as home to me. Our relationship was special and sacred, tender, kind, silly,and full of happiness. It was the only time I experienced true love. I am still finding the courage and the words to tell our story, but for now I want to keep it safe with us.

Today is like most days, I struggle with grief’s pain. I feel the weight of my heartbreak, and I feel how bruised and battered my soul is. I find myself wondering many of things, and mostly wishing He was here to talk to me.

Today is like most days, spent missing him.

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