Since I was a little girl I wanted so badly to go to college. Mostly because I wanted to attend college for the status rather than the actual education. I knew that my desires were misconstrued and I wasn’t actually serious about furthering my education. So I joined the Army to help me become an adult while I sorted out what I wanted to educate myself on. I’ve always had an idea of who I wanted to be when I entered adulthood, but I never found a degree that could suit my desires perfectly. Still to this day it’s hard for me to put to words the profession I am after, but I know the steps I need to take to become the woman I want to be.
As I entered 2019, I realized that my mental health was rebounding. I was becoming stronger, able to take on more intense developmental projects. I wanted to better myself, further my knowledge, but I was at a loss on where to even start. College has always been on the back burner; Something I wanted to do but never gave it my full undivided attention, which my education demands.
I started by reenrolling into my former college (Winona State University) because my desire to graduate from that particular college was more of driving force than finding a degree to suit my dreams for the future. Honestly, I didn’t even know how to explain what I wanted to do with my future, and I was even more worried about people judging me for my dreams. I researched as best as I could on my own, and found a degree I felt somewhat blanketed the field I wanted to work in.
The universe fought me, tooth and nail. It made every step of my decision to reenroll in a college that wasn’t meant for me utterly painful. I was meant with resistance, dead ends, and finally came to the realization that I was going to have to give up my dream of graduating from Winona State University.
I was crushed. I could’ve let this specific defeat end my college career for good, but I didn’t. One morning I laid in bed, crying about how unfair life was being to me, when I realized something. I can still be a college graduate, I can still find a degree that suits my dreams more perfectly than Winona State ever could. The universe wasn’t stopping me from following my goals, only I was stopping me.
I put the universe in a choke hold, and was trying to force it to give me something I thought I wanted, but ultimately I didn’t want. I want a degree that helps me become the woman I dream of, and I thought the only way to do that was graduate from Winona. I was dead wrong, and once I realized my mistake, I decided to take the lesson from it, and try again.
So I went back to my drawing board and wiped the slate clean, then I asked myself one simple question. What do I want to do, and the answers came flowing from me. I followed that desire and researched many different colleges from all over the United States. I researched, and researched, and researched some more. I made phone call after phone call, until I got on the phone with an advisor from Arizona State University. By the end of our half and hour phone call, I knew I had found a path more perfectly suited for me, than Winona state could’ve ever been. I found a degree that caters to my specific dreams, and will help me build my own brand and business.
Since I was a little girl I’ve always dreamed of going to college. I imagine what it would be like and how it would feel to accomplish something I solely desired. It’s a gratifying experience, but the work has just begun. Now I just have to graduate. So, if you’re ever wondering what I may be up to for the next two years, the answer will be simple. I’m a student studying at Arizona State University.